Close Encounters of an Expat Kind: Language Barriers

http://www.harpercollins.co.uk/titles/9780007331550/collins-robert-french-dictionary-ninth-edition-collins-dictionaries

So I have lived abroad for over half my life now. A crazy thought on it's own (and I wouldn't have it any other way). 

The majority of that time has been in Dubai, where despite the national language being Arabic, everyone speaks English to a really high level. 

It's true, here in Geneva that everyone seems to be a linguist, but it's not always English that they've been studying. So I am cursed with the English tourist syndrome of assuming that people here will understand English. 

It's not really the case. 

The language challenges in Italy highlighted all this stress with us eating whatever the waiter recommended, simply because we had no idea what he was saying. It's half the fun of holidays and why I loved Le Marche- it felt so unspoilt by tourists. 

But when it's your hometown, it's not quite so entertaining. My French is awful, but my Mum's is pretty good- we get by with her help and a summer course that I went to when we first moved out here in the summer- well worth the investment as now I have reawakened my GCSE French (apologies to anyone who has heard me destroy such a pretty language). 

The latest challenge in regard to languages was our cleaning lady, Maria. Mum had hired her because she's been working two jobs effectively (teaching and tutoring) and also doing a distance learning masters! We've also had friends and family staying, so she wanted the house to look extra nice. In short, please don't think we're lazy; my mum does busy like nobody else. 

So, she hired Maria- the assumption was that she'd speak french, even though she's from Latin America. 

Turns out Maria only really speaks Spanish, but understands French- it's resulted in some pretty entertaining scenes: 

Number 1: The introduction

Maria was recommended to us by our neighbours- the most amazing italian couple who speak: 
Italian
English
French
Spanish

and who knows what else but these are the ones we've discovered. They introduced us and it resulted in a three way conversation where Mum spoke English to Wanda, French to Maria. Wanda spoke English to Mum and Spanish to Maria and Maria understood Mum and then would reply to Wanda in Spanish. 

It resulted in Wanda getting so confused with her languages that she kept talking to my mum in Spanish and Wanda in English. Only in Geneva would 3 languages be thrown around a conversation. 

Number 2: Enter the idiot abroad

I have a bit of an issue in Geneva when workmen come to the house, because 90% of the time I am alone and cannot, for the love of God work out why they are here- If Mum's at work and hasn't left a note then I really have no clue. The other week we had a guy come to check the bomb shelter for goodness' sake! Ever taught the French for that at school? 

Anyway, during the visitor madness, we had Maria's brother come in to do a bit of gardening- Maria wasn't there, so in my best (GCSE from 4 years ago) Spanish asked if he spoke/understood French and with hope in my voice, English. The answer was a no to both, so it was just my Spanish. 

I had to ask him to do a dog poo check before mowing the lawn. Did I just check a dictionary for the word dog? Did I at least go to google translate?

No. No I did not. 

I barked in his face. 

Who does that? 

Playing Tourist

It wasn't all skiing while Merryn was here- I wanted to show her Geneva too, seeing as people forget it's more than just the airport and connections to the mountains. So, we had a day in the city...

...Which was more of an afternoon- after the skiing madness, we were both pretty pooped, but I thought we should at least see some culture and the starting point of all Geneva tours should begin in the old town, according to my professional opinion. 

So we headed off to St Peter's Cathedral- well actually, right next to it where there's a sleepy little Creperie- it's pretty rustic/basic, but I love their 'saint-malo' crepe- mushrooms, ham, basil and a whole lotta cheese. 

Anyway, after a quick bite we headed into the Cathedral. It's all very plain stonework on the inside because of it changing into a Protestant Cathedral. Geneva was the centre for theological thought on how to improve the Catholic Church- the main player being Jean Calvin or the lesser known Zwingli. It means that some people find it underwhelming, but Merryn (Smarty-pants that she is) said that she didn't think places of worship should be all about ostentatious demonstrations. I'm not desperately religious, but I agree with her- surely it should be about what we believe rather than how we express it? 

Before I get lost in confusing theology/meaning of life things, I shall share the real reason I took Merryn there. For 5 Francs you can go up the main tower of the Cathedral- it involves some very narrow stone stairs that make you feel dizzy at the best of times. It is in the end, all worth it for the amazing views. 

It was a fun little trip and if you want to see the Cathedral for yourselves, the best time to go would be Christmas- on Christmas Eve the Cathedral has a nine lessons and carols service in English, which really captures how amazing the acoustics of the building are with it at full capacity. It's my favourite part of Christmas in Geneva. 

The following day was pretty similar- I took Merryn into the centre of Hermance, a village on the French boarder. It was nearly as nice weather, so here's some photos of it on a prettier day. 

We were still pretty sleepy, but we spent the afternoon at the Red Cross Museum- it only re-opened in 2013. This was the second time I have been and it still interests me. It's been done in a slightly unconventional way, with 3 sections demonstrating the aims of the Red Cross and Red Crescent. You get an audio guide included in your ticket (which are half price for students) which starts automatically when you enter the exhibits. These aren't foolproof, so sometimes I had to retrace my steps to hear the right thing, but they've improved since last summer! The Second visit was definitely worth it as they've sorted out a few kinks. The main one and (because we are that mature) the highlight of the visit for us was the Hurricane game. You had to try and save as many people on an island from the incoming hurricane using red cross tools- it was definitely not designed for our age group, but we loved it!  It wasn't working when I last visited, but Merryn and I unleashed our inner child and played it twice. We actually scared off a few other visitors from the table...

This was Merryn's last day, and we said our farewells- next time I see her it will be exam season eeeeek! 

Sunday Funday: End of Season Skiing

Sorry I've been gone for so long, but it means it's time for a catch up- this is ultimate revision procrastination, so you'll be hearing a lot from me (but no promises). 

My flatmate Merryn was over in Geneva for a long weekend- so naturally, it meant some skiing had to be done. 

We went up to Flaine, part of the Grand Massif on Saturday and could barely see a thing- the whole resort was in low cloud, making the skiing a bit risky and unnerving. To sum it up, we had planned to start on a gentle blue run to get down to the right lift, but ended up taking a red earlier than planned! Fortunately nobody had any accidents that day- but if you're not under the pressure of 48 hours to ski in, I wouldn't recommend skiing in fog. 

Come Sunday, I was all over the Flaine Webcams (the handiest tool for seeing what it's really like on the mountains, though we have also found the snow forecast website accurate). It looked like we would see some sun, though clouds were threatening... 

...but it ended up being beautiful! 

So after posing next to Mont Blanc multiple times and getting through most of what Flaine had to offer (within the limits of my ability- Merryn is a much better skier than I). We stopped off at Les Blanchots- the only restaurant on the slopes, where Dad started to look pretty sleepy and we decided to head off home. 

In terms of Flaine as a resort- the slopes are amazing. I'm no expert and only skied blues and reds, but they're all really wide runs, with loads of variations- a few of the slopes have turnoffs as part of them, joining other runs or just being two ways down to the nearest lift. My personal favourite is Cristal, a blue that joins onto Beelzebuth, a red down to the lift called Desert Blanc- in fact, all the runs that begin at that chairlift are great fun for the casual skier. At the top you reach around 2400 m, meaning that the snow lasts a lot longer. 

 However, Flaine as a place to stay ranks pretty low on my list- it's a purpose built area, in 1970s style apartments. You would think that purpose built would mean the slopes are easily accessible, but it's not really the case- we had a total faff from parking our car to renting our skis to finally getting onto the slopes. It's basically because it's a weird system where the resort is split onto three levels which are hard to move between on foot (and even harder in ski boots). Also, there's nothing to do in Flaine except ski- so if you want to have a great apres after your day on the slopes, look elsewhere. Of course, if you're there to ski and nothing more, Flaine is great- and only 1 hour and 30 mins from Geneva, makes great day spring skiing. 

It was the last opportunity I had until Christmas to ski, so we won't have much alpine blogging for a while now! I'm glad I had Merryn as an excuse to see it through until the end of the season. 

Fangirling over 'Fangirl' by Rainbow Rowell

http://rainbowrowell.com/blog/book/fangirl/

It has taken me 2 days to read this. I have literally finished the last chapter and run up here to share it with you.

Now asides from the fact that I need to get out more, let's just work out what this means. 

Basically, this book is incredible. I mean, it's not Homer's Iliad or anything, but I'd say it's pretty damn good. 

This review may be semi-delusional, but it's an accurate account of a great book afterglow. 

The story is about twin sisters called Cather and Wren, in the first year at College in America. They've always shared everything in their lives, including a bedroom, but college is where Wren decides to break out on her own. Alongside the challenges that their relationship faces, Cather is also an extremely popular FanFic writer, based on the Simon Snow books. These are another creation of Rowell's and seem to be based on the Harry Potter series. Ultimately it is a coming of age story, but it's more about families and fandoms. 

There are so many opportunities for this book to turn into a cheesy All-American young adult bit of blah (genuinely, I don't know how else to describe YA books that just fail at saying anything about teenagers). There's romance and boy drama, family issues and nervous breakdowns- all sounds a bit heavy and teenager-y. I'm sure for some people, it will be like that- but for me at least, the characters have enough depth diversity between them to keep me interested. 

Also, this is the first book I've ever read that deals with the internet like it is a positive force. Cather obviously feels the pressure from her thousands of readers to keep her story going, but in the end Rowell captures how the internet is a community- she even thanks the writers of fanfic in the acknowledgements for writing parts of this story themselves. 

I'm excited that literature and the creative outlets of the internet are coming together to make a book that is widely appealing to the YA audience. It's not a patronising story (as so many YA books can be) it doesn't really follow a trend that's popular (RIP vampire fiction, may the stake remain in your heart) and it finally gave weird internet things a voice in the mainstream. Wanker-y Milly moment over. 

All in all, fellow internet lovers and readers, buy this. 

'The Cuckoo's Calling' by Robert Galbraith/J.K. Rowling Review

http://www.robert-galbraith.com

I promise a review of this soon, and here it is! I know this book has been out for ages, but the sequel is out on 19th June, so if you want to know what all the fuss is about, here's an

insight! 

I have read The Casual Vacancy (let's all be honest now, we both know that J.K. Rowling is Robert Galbraith) and just did not enjoy it. However, I went towards this with an open mind and promises that it was actually a great read. 

The basic plot line is about a failing private detective, Camoran Strike (Rowling's protagonist for a series it seems) who has a new case landed in his lap. It's the reported suicide of model Lula Landry- her brother believes that she died under suspicious circumstances. While Strike works on the case he also hires a temp secretary called Robin who forms a friendship with the detective. 

I'm not a big fan of reading crime novels, simply because I think they're great stories for the TV. There were times in this where I felt it was a little too slow to really capture my attention- I actually started and finished another book while reading this one, it was that easy to put down. 

It does have it's advantages though. Namely it means I actually get some sleep rather than sacrificing it to find out what happens next. 

Anyway, I ended up really enjoying the interactions between Robin and Strike more than the actual case solving bit, but there was also a great twist at the end (no spoilers, don't worry). 

It shows that if I didn't find the characters endearing then I wouldn't have finished this book. Strike being an army veteran with a prosthetic leg meant that I cared for him, because he had vulnerabilities- his challenging family also linked to that, but it was a bit too Casual Vacancy for me having an addict for a mother. Alternatively, Robin's struggles to do what was expected of her and what she really wanted to do struck a chord. Rowling once again presents a female character that is strong, but without shoving the Vindication of the Rights of Women down your throat. 

Definitely a great holiday read- was perfect for escaping the horrors of EasyJet on my latest flight out to Geneva.